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What Potential Partners Need To Know When Considering Dating a Herpes Positive !!

In this article, I want to shift gears and talk to that audience which is so dear to us. Herpes positives partners let’s not forget that if we hurt these positives heal a lot of amount of pressure when we disclose our status to potential partners, your potential partners feel your share amount of pressure when you have to decide whether this is a deal-breaker or not. If this situation hasn’t happened yet with roughly one in four women and one in five men in America who have genital herpes, chances are you will need air is positive sometime over the course of your dating life. So, potential partners of today and tomorrow there’s probably a lot going on in your head wondering, what does my herpes positive partner status mean for me and for us? This is exactly what that article that will provide answers to. So using how questions that I get asked the most on my blog, plus questions that I was asked by regular readers.

So here we go the first one…

Q1) If I sleep with a positive partner will I automatically get it?

Ans 1) No, since I started being open about my herpes diagnosis a lot of people have shared their stories with me including people who were herpes negative. Some we’re dating herpes positives and we’re in monogamous relationships for years and never transmitted or caught herpes from each other. Some shared that they were using condoms in the beginning and then decided to drop the use of condoms. Others shared that they were using condoms on and off. so at the end of this article, you might still absolutely choose not to engage sex with this herpes positive partner of yours. However, do not assume that this choice will make it any safer for you not to catch herpes from other sexual encounters with other people out there. Why? because we have enough data suggests that if you’re trying not to catch herpes it is actually safer to engage sexually with someone who knows they have herpes rather than someone who doesn’t know. That is what the data says, most cases of transmission of genital herpes happen from people who do not know that they carry genital herpes which statistically as we may or may not know represent 80% of genital herpes carriers. Knowing about our own Herpes status, being responsible for it and being able to tell a potential partner about it has proven to decrease the chances of transmission by 50%. The rate of transmission varies according to studies and according to whether you’re a man or a woman carrying herpes. but dr. Peter Leone as well as the “Herpes head book” reported that for uninfected men the risk of sexually acquiring issues is – from an infected woman is about 4%. the risk for women acquiring HSV – from an infected man is about 10%.


Living with STD, but not alone

Q2 ) Outside of periods when my herpes positive partner has an outbreak is there a risk for me to catch it?

Ans2) Yes, studies have shown that the virus sheds even outside of times where your herpes positive partner will experience an outbreak. Although the time where the virus is at its most contagious is during times of actual outbreaks. Luckily there are ways to reduce the risk of transmission. Usage of male or female condom which reduces the risk of transmission by on average 30%. Another way to reduce that risk is by going on suppressive therapy. This is the pill that herpes positives take every day and puts the virus in a dormant condition. This helps reducing frequency severity and duration of an outbreak.

Q3) If I use a condom during sexual interaction with my herpes positive does that reduce the risks to zero?

Ans 3) Nope, herpes is a skin condition and it is transmittable via direct contact with the sore which may or may not be covered by a condom. Female condoms might actually be safer because we cover a larger area of the skin. This is actually something to keep in mind because like herpes there are other skin conditions which are classified as STDs and STI like HPV or syphilis, condoms will mostly protect you from STDs that are transmittable via sexual fluids but not necessarily than ones that are transmitted both. Yes, skin to skin contact because like mentioned earlier the rashes that transmit the virus to someone else are may or may not be covered by the condom at the time of the sexual encounter.

Q4 Can I get it from going down on my herpes positive partner?

Ans 4) Yes and no, this is a question that doesn’t cross people’s mind until they hear that their potential partner has genital herpes, which is very funny because people are very adamant about protecting themselves during sexual encounters. For example, they don’t think about protection when performing oral sex. Things like dental dams are not things that will make you feel that your sexiest. If you’re adamant about not catching herpes you have to be adamant about protecting yourself even during oral sex. so let us get into why the answer was yes and no. This is where knowing the type of virus that you have will come in handy. If you have a Herpes HS2 which is usually the type 2 of herpes that manifested itself from genitals. This is a type of herpes that doesn’t live well on the mouth, so if you perform oral sex and then obviously at a time where there are no lesions chances are that you will not catch HSV-2 on your mouth. Things with HSV-1 are a little different because it’s a virus that lives very well on both mouth and genitals. So if your herpes partner has HSV-1 one on her or his genitals and you perform oral sex then chances are you could catch herpes in your mouth which would manifest as cold sores. In fact, HSV-1 is responsible for 50% of new cases of general herpes which exactly transmits through oral sex. Keep in mind that 90% of Americans have been exposed to HSV 1 at some point in their lives, so you might want to check yourself and see if you don’t already have it. if you do result positive then, you have to be super mindful about performing oral sex on anyone, because you would then qualify as a herpes positive. Then the person would be eligible to transmit it to someone else. You came here as a partner and leave as a herpes positive. It’s not because I have HSV2 that I can’t have HSV1. I could catch HSV-1 by someone who has HSV-1 on their mouth and who would perform oral sex on me.

Q5) What can I do to protect myself?

Ans 5) Well, that’s a great question as we said previously you can use condoms consistently. Make sure that your herpes partner is on suppressive therapy which would reduce your risk by around 80%. Another efficient tool that is that in everybody’s reach and this highly effective is communication. why? because your herpes partner is likely to know his or her body symptoms really well and can completely eliminate the risk of you catching herpes. When the viruses that it’s most transmittable, which is during times of outbreaks or prodromal periods. That alone is more effective than a condom. That is more effective than using a condom with people who don’t know they have herpes or don’t want to disclose it. For some reason, a disclosure is on your positive partner. It’s the only first step towards respecting your decision and protecting your health. but from the moment you accept that then it’s on both of you to keep a healthy dialogue and the communication channel open to ask or let the other know when it’s a good or bad time for sexual activity. If you think about it at least once a month during masturbation we’re used to telling or being told that this is not a good time is a good idea in that case.

To sum up

  • You don’t automatically catch herpes if you sleep with a herpes positive.
  • Rates of transmission change according to gender and steps of prevention that you are both going to take.
  • You could catch herpes outside of times where your herpes partner is going to experience an outbreak, but there are measures to reduce the chances of transmission even during those times including condoms suppressive therapy.
  • Condoms don’t eliminate the risk of catching herpes just like it doesn’t eliminate the risk of catching any other STI that is transmittable through skin-to-skin contact.
  • ORAL SEX: You can catch HSV1 on your mouth from a positive partner who has it on their genitals, but it’s unlikely you’d catch HSV2 on your mouth from a positive partner who has it on their genitals
  • Don’t forget to check yourself to see if you don’t have HSV-1 or HSV-2 as you would then qualify as herpes positive likely to transmit it to your herpes partner.So, periodic STD testing is a must.

A killer method to prevent and transmission of Genital herpes is communication your herpes partner is your best ally as he or she can completely eliminate the risk of you catching herpes when the virus is at its most transmittable, that is during times of outbreaks or prodromal periods.

There are dedicated sites for dating Positive Herpes singles, this may help you find your life partner.